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27 December 2008 @ 11:37 pm
RL stuff  
I have news I'm not sure if it's great news though. I just found out that my husband just now was able to forgive me for my lj reading and writing. It took over a year for him to get over it. *WOW* That's a long time. Some of you remember my very early post about my husband finding out about my journal etc. He was mad and upset to say the least. I wonder what I should feel about this happy or worried? I'm also concerned that he could hold onto the anger for this long.
slashbycaranfinslashbycaranfin on December 28th, 2008 06:59 am (UTC)
I think most guys are rather easily threatened by this sort of thing. Of course, can you imagine the other side of the coin... guys reading/writing Pam Anderson/Giselle Bundchen slash (except that guys, of course, skip the reading/writing and just go for the pure porn). Deep down, most men are really insecure and i can easily imagine it taking a year for a guy to realize that his wife really isn't going to leave him for any actors.
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:13 am (UTC)
Yes they are insecure and he is to.
Rebeccamilkglasses on December 28th, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)

I'm sorry to hear about that. I do have friends who don't understand why I like to read slash fiction as well. They think its weird, especially with friends that are guys. I think you should have a good talk with him and tell him how you feel and that he doesn't have anything to be upset about.
lijahlover: Cup of hot coffeelijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:14 am (UTC)
We have talked and talked nothing really changes anything.
Rebeccamilkglasses on December 30th, 2008 07:17 pm (UTC)
I know this doesn't help much at all but I do enjoy your drabbles and he should be proud of his wife for being able to be creative and write well if nothing else. I hope things are better now.
lijahlover: Animated D/Elijahlover on December 31st, 2008 12:19 am (UTC)
Thanks hun *blushes* It helps me though thanks! :)
angelskiss: H/D - Eneada Top!Dracoangelskiss on December 28th, 2008 08:56 am (UTC)
Wow. I had no idea.
At least now, even if it is later rather than sooner, he is able to forgive. That counts for something.
Do you mind if I ask how he found out in the first place?
Does he read what you write?
I have to admit, I would probably be upset if I discovered my husband was reading/writing slash about two hot girls - I would feel insecure if nothing else.
I don't know, it's just different when us women do it compared to men.
Men are pigs. :p
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:16 am (UTC)
He found out when I started my LJ. He would never read what I write. Women like fluff and romance and lots more than just ranchy porn only. Nothing wrong with pwp though.
Akumu Black: hugaku_rin on December 28th, 2008 10:23 am (UTC)
Men are like this, unluckily. Either they are super-comprehensive (1 out of 1000), or they just don't understand.
Maybe it's because he came to know later? In the end it depends from his character, maybe.
But the important thing is that he finally forgave you. Maybe he took a bit to do it, but he did. Because he loves you. :)
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)
He does love me and he will always struggle with it a little bit.
Saurasaura_ on December 28th, 2008 12:36 pm (UTC)
It took him long, indeed!!! What you read and write is part of who you are. He should have known earlier, yeah, but that doesn't mean it makes you any different from the woman you were before he knew. He shouldn't have been angry, but even if he was, he should have talked to you about it and (you're right) not hold on it for so long. But I'm glad that he is cool with it now (you did nothing, there's nothing to forgive, is it!?)

I'm very fortunate Hubby was there with me the whole process. I don't think I'll be able to keep a secret like this from him. But still, I've been double fortunate that he has always respected my choices.
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:18 am (UTC)
Oh he told me how angrey he was from the start but I had no idea how long he took to let it go finally. That's a graet husband you have there. :)
Jackiejackieville on December 28th, 2008 12:46 pm (UTC)
*squishes you*

Men tend to take longer to forgive for some strange reason. I talk from experience. I would just accept his forgiveness and put it all behind you. (although, I must admit I don't think your LJ is something that needs to be forgiven)

lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:19 am (UTC)
Thank you and I don't really think so either but he does :(

Fienchen: Domlijah kissfienchen on December 28th, 2008 01:01 pm (UTC)
Ah, how could he be angry? Being creative and writing is one of the best things ever.
But I know what you mean. RL reactions are sometimes not very tolerant. It's a particular kind of hobby, especially if you're married.
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:20 am (UTC)
Yes you are right it's quite the hobby to have and difficult for some to ever understand!
honeyandvinegarhoneyandvinegar on December 28th, 2008 06:32 pm (UTC)
It is kinda ambiguous... seeing as I don't have any reservations letting *anyone* know what I get up to on here, it always astounds me that others have these problems. I hope things can work out. *hug*
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:20 am (UTC)
I think they are starting to finally :)
Primprimula_baggins on December 28th, 2008 07:45 pm (UTC)
I told my hubby about my LJ a looong time ago. He's good with it, thank goodness. In fact, I talk to him about things that are posted, on occasion. It makes him not feel like it's some secret society that he isn't privy to, I think.

Besides, who *knows* what he looks at that I don't know about? :D
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
Oh he no longer looks at anything anymore. I'm just glad we are moving on from this finally!
Jaeenchanted_jae on December 28th, 2008 11:50 pm (UTC)
I am going to assume your husband has hobbies (whether it's hunting, bowling, watching football, etc.) that you don't begrudge him, so to think that he has spent an entire year begruding you your hobby is...childish. And it makes me glad I'm not married. Swear to God, had I ever gotten married, I'd now be in prison for murder, because so many of my friends tell me things their husbands do or say that make me think, 'I'd kill him for that.'
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:23 am (UTC)
Wow! You arn't married ever? I didn't realize this! It just sickens him so he has a difficult time with it.
frolijah_fan_54frolijah_fan_54 on December 29th, 2008 05:03 am (UTC)
Can you talk to him about why it took so long? I guess the good news is that he is ok with it now - *hugs*
lijahloverlijahlover on December 29th, 2008 07:24 am (UTC)
I know why it took a long time because it sickens him so much but he's better now! *clings*
[Ex-Ex-Ex-Oh]glamoursnipe on January 2nd, 2009 01:57 pm (UTC)
Someday I'm going to have to find a way to have an honest-to-christ conversation with you...because I can 100, not 99, percent relate.

*Hugs tight*
lijahloverlijahlover on January 2nd, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
Feel free to anytime hun *hugs*

You can e-mail me if you want to it's amy_gillam@sbcglobal.net